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Words
many years ago, when i was still attending Lake Superior State University, winter-break was fast approaching, and i had a job in the area and i couldn’t go home for the holidays, my home was in Sault Sainte Marie. however, since i was a tenant in the university apartments, the university housing department forced me out of my room for the break, on the grounds that the university was closing for a couple weeks. they weren’t shutting off heat or electric, because those were required to keep the plumbing from freezing solid and being damaged. so there was no real justification for kicking me off campus other than the assumption that the massive amount of rent did not include this period of time. the real story is that i had been pulled over for speeding a while back, and the director of housing’s husband was the police officer in question who pulled me over. i contested the traffic ticket, since it was for going 35 in a temporary 25, which was normally 30. i can’t prove that that had anything to do with the director of housing’s motives for kicking me out, but i decided to follow it up the chain and see if the university president could do anything about the matter. so i scheduled an appointment with her, and prepared explaining my situation, which was rather stressful, since i would either lose my job or not make any money for the period of time i was working because i would have to pay for a hotel room. i was passionate about the issue. and i made the mistake of using the word ‘fucking’ while explaining myself to the president of the university in her office. as soon as that word came out of my mouth, the president stood up, and said ‘we are done, you do not use that sort of language when talking to me.’ and so there we begin with my issue with words, and how others receive them. my words are my words. they are the words i feel appropriately explain the sentiment i am attempting to express. no more, no less. if you are confused or upset with my word choice, i hope you are mature enough to clarify. if you are inferring a message that is hurtful from my words or a message you do not agree with, ask me for clarification. assuming that you are inferring my meaning correctly is straight up ignorance. i do not go out of my way to upset people. i do occasionally use language to push buttons and make a point about language being a tool with many purposes. my words i realize that i have been guilty of not sharing something important with you, and expecting you to understand, without explaining. i figured the questions would eventually come up in conversation with my friends, so i wouldn’t need to, but that seems silly, to wait to share, when i know what i want to share. my words are very important to me. they are the words i use to verbalize and discuss things. they are not someone else’s words, and where i do quote others, i try to remember to provide citation. most of my blog posts come to me as ideas, and i sit down with a general idea and write it out, using the best words available to me at the time. over time, i might re-think something, and change my view on a subject, i will definitely be sure to point out where and when that happens, and i am going to strive to leave only the articles standing that i believe in enough to discuss and defend with others. so these are my words, and these are the means i wish to communicate them in. i realize people have different standards for how they want to talk, some people learn from a book, some people learn from doing, and so on. i want my audience to understand my words. if you don’t agree or you don’t agree because you don’t understand how i arrived at some conclusion, i would like to hear from you. if my logic is faulty and my reasoning unsound, i hope you will speak up and let me know. and so far, it sounds like you have been trying to let me know, but it has fallen on deaf ears, because the discussions quickly become passionate and my words get twisted and people start thinking for me. i do the same, when my passions rise, so i try to keep calm, and when i am not calm, my logic isn’t always sound. that’s one of the things i like about ranting, actually, one of the great benefits i have noticed. when i state my opinion so arrogantly, it makes a tempting target for others to tear down, when you see the flaws. you just can’t help it. when someone stands up proudly to say something, and they say it ignorantly, or stating some known-to-be-false fact. they’re so cocky, you just have to bring them down a peg. and that’s what friends are for, to keep your logic in check and ask you questions when they are uncertain. i do that sometimes when i know i am wrong, just to see who will stand up and call me on my bullshit. i want people to think critically, examining the pros and cons of a situation and pointing out the cons, hoping to hear about some pros to make it worth while. if you believe or know me to be wrong, i need you, my friends, to let me know. the whole point of discussion, for me, is to expand my world-view, not to walk around with blinders on, assuming everything i do is correct. i know i’m not always correct, do you? so i use my words, i take in other ideas from other sources and i think critically about them, and consider the benefits and the costs, and sometimes i digest the idea and agree with it, and feel like sharing it with people, as a point of discussion. my blog provides a solid base for my writings to exist. i can link to my blog from instant messenger, facebook, twitter, whatever. and begin a discussion THERE. these are my words, not the words of Joe or Hillary. the discussions that ensue from these topics are our words, and they might happen in a coffee shop, over the phone, on facebook or in the living room. i take great pride in my words, which is why i need you to help me edit them, by engaging me in discussion and altering my world-view to closer resemble reality. someone once told me that George R.R. Martin is a professional editor, i haven’t verified that, but the point they were making was that he therefore didn’t hire an editor for the books, because it’s cool, he’s got this. but the secret is, we are really god-awful at editing ourselves.